Forgiveness and Boundaries
“Joseph said to them, ‘It is just as I told you: you are spies! And this is how you will be tested: as surely as Pharaoh lives, you will not leave this place unless your youngest brother comes here.”
Genesis 42:14–15 NIVUK
Joseph’s story is one of the most powerful portraits of forgiveness in Scripture. Sold into slavery by his own brothers, falsely accused, and forgotten in prison, Joseph had every reason to grow bitter. Yet when he finally stood before the very men who betrayed him, he chose forgiveness. Later, he would even say, “You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.”
But forgiveness didn’t mean naivety. Joseph did not simply throw open his arms and restore relationship without thought. Instead, he tested his brothers. He placed them in a position where their actions would reveal whether they had changed. Would they betray Benjamin—the youngest, as they had once betrayed Joseph? Or would they protect him? Joseph’s trials—accusing them of being spies, demanding Benjamin’s presence, hiding silver in their sacks—were not acts of cruelty but of wisdom. They allowed Joseph to see whether reconciliation was truly possible.
There is a vital lesson here. Forgiving someone does not mean removing all boundaries. It is one thing to cleanse your heart of bitterness, but it is another to hand the keys of your peace, safety, and wellbeing back to those who might misuse them. Forgiveness sets you free from poison; boundaries protect you from repeated harm.
Sometimes that means limiting contact. Sometimes it’s reshaping conversations, keeping sensitive subjects off the table. At other times it may mean only meeting in the presence of others—or even ending the relationship altogether. Healthy boundaries are not a lack of forgiveness; they are an act of wisdom.
Joseph forgave fully. He even provided food for his family in famine. But he also ensured that reconciliation was safe, genuine, and built on repentance.
So, forgive those who hurt you—release the debt, refuse to let bitterness take root. But also ask God for wisdom in placing boundaries where they’re needed. Love your enemies, yes—but love yourself enough to guard your heart. Like Joseph, forgive deeply, but test wisely.
Prayer: Lord, help me to walk in true forgiveness, free from bitterness. Give me wisdom to set healthy boundaries that honour You, protect my heart, and allow relationships to grow in truth. Amen.
I choose to forgive. I release every hurt, offence, and wound into the hands of the One who heals. “Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13), and so I choose to walk in that same grace.
I declare that unforgiveness will not chain my heart, poison my spirit, or hinder my destiny. I refuse bitterness because “where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17). As I forgive, I step into freedom.
I declare that I am not defined by what was done to me, but by what Christ has done for me. His mercy washes over every memory and His love rewrites every story. “Be kind and compassionate… forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).
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2 Responses
Thanks Jarrod
Well this is interesting:
I woke up yesterday morning with the feeling that God had laid a burden on my heart to visit a newly refurbished building in Haslingden, Lancashire.
This has been refurbed by a Muslim guy, with great staff, to give a nice ensuite room to every guy who was homeless, as well as care leavers.
They can only get a room with a referral from Rossendale Borough Council.
I had previously visited 3 months ago and the Muslim guy (Faz?) proudly showed me round, at the quality of the rooms he wanted each of the 21 residents to have – it was beautiful.
During our prayer time I shared with my husband that I felt I should go with sweets, tracts (OMG by Ant Delaney – a great outreach tool!) to this centre. As well as a free copy of each of my books as a gift to each guy.
I prepared a letter about Christmas, also suggesting 3 churches we are involved with, times of their Christmas specials, as well as details of churches offering free Christmas Day lunch for anyone at all.
Strangely hubby said he had felt that we should go too.
So with a bag full of goodies, we set off.
I asked if I could see the boss (fully expecting to see Faz)
When I got to the main reception room, it was a guy I had never met before, with tattoos etc.
He was pleased to see me and introduced himself as Scott.
I showed him my tub of Christmas sweets and told him a little of my background and some of the 10 books I had written.
I gave him the letter and asked if he thought he could show it to the boys.
His mouth dropped open with everything I said, I thought he was going to object, but he had the biggest smile.
He said: I had just been saying, we have Christmas eve covered (they are doing a party for these guys) but what are we gonna do with them Christmas Day?
I said well God told me to come today!
I also shared with him the story of a couple (featured in Starting Over?) who I introduced through my dating agency Lookingforlove.org.uk
25 years ago when they got married God told them to go and plant a church in Fuerteventura (The Beautiful Canary Islands). Their church is still thriving!
So now we visit them once a year! – We go next year on January 13th.
This story clearly blew Scott\’s mind away.
When I started to leave, he said can I give you a hug?
As we did so I asked if I could pray for him? Of course he said Yes.
So, a 2 minute prayer and an invite to one of our 3 church services and God knows what will happen next!
have a wonderful Saturday.
I also need to ask for your prayers. I have an appointment at the private hospital in Lancaster 22nd December at 4pm. (NHS wait times are 12 weeks)
I think I have M.S.
It would be wonderful to see you after Christmas (but before we move end Jan to our new house in Burnley BB11 5JN)
Our spare room is already made up and Andrew will cook breakfast (what could possibly go wrong!)
We are celebrating with the angels this Christmas. 4 weeks ago (on Grandad Andrew\’s Birthday – 9th November) we welcomed into the world our 3rd granddaughter Miriam Faith.
Joining her big sisters Jubilee Joyce (Now aged 6) & Merry aged 4.
Our hearts are filled with the goodness of God.
All my life he has been faithful.
God Bless Sue
Lookingforlove.org.uk
Sue Saxon AuthorÂ
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Pre order my New Book (available 20th January) – \’Road Beyond Bars\’Â A book of hope for all those in prison or newly released.
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